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Greyhound Now Charging Customers $15 Fee To Vomit In Aisle

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Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Greyhound Now Charging Customers $15 Fee To Vomit In Aisle

DALLAS—Greyhound passengers accustomed to complimentary vomiting in the aisles will now be charged a $15 fee to do so, com≠pany representatives announced Monday. "In order to better serve our customers in the future, we have instituted a small surcharge for those needing to empty their stomach down the center walkway," said spokesman Don Randall, adding that once riders wipe themselves off, they can pay with any major debit or credit card. "We recommend passengers wishing to avoid paying the fee puke on one of the chairs in the terminal beforehand." Despite the new changes, Randall assured customers that masturbating under a bulky winter coat would always be free.

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