adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Grimacing Congressman Quickly Drafts Legislation For Charley-Horse Research

WASHINGTON, DC–Grimacing in considerable pain Monday, Rep. William Delahunt (D-MA) quickly drafted and introduced the 2001 Charley Horse Research Appropriations Act, which would allocate $100 million for "immediate research" to find a charley-horse cure. "Charley horses are a serious–oh, Jesus–medical condition that afflicts millions of Americans every day," Delahunt told House colleagues. "And so let us–Christ, this kills–pass this bill as soon as possible." When informed that the earliest the bill could be passed and signed into law is next Monday, Delahunt moaned and pounded the podium.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings