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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Grizzlies Annoyed They Went To Bed Instead Of Watching Clippers Improbable Comeback

MEMPHIS—Grizzlies players expressed frustration during a press conference Monday, admitting they regretted having gone to bed early and missed out on seeing one of the most improbable comebacks in NBA history as the Clippers overcame a 27-point deficit to defeat the Grizzlies 99-98. "We thought the game was over, just like I'm sure everybody else did, so we decided to hit the sack. I'm pissed, because it would have been cool to see such a once-in-a-lifetime finish," said small forward Rudy Gay, who was already resting up for his Wednesday game against Los Angeles when the buzzer sounded on the Clippers' comeback. "That kind of determination and refusal to give up would have been pretty inspiring for our team to see, especially now that we're down a game in the playoffs." Grizzlies coach Lionel Hollins is standing by his decision to send the team to bed early, claiming he hates it when players are tired and grumpy during practice.

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