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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.
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Grizzlies Annoyed They Went To Bed Instead Of Watching Clippers Improbable Comeback

MEMPHIS—Grizzlies players expressed frustration during a press conference Monday, admitting they regretted having gone to bed early and missed out on seeing one of the most improbable comebacks in NBA history as the Clippers overcame a 27-point deficit to defeat the Grizzlies 99-98. "We thought the game was over, just like I'm sure everybody else did, so we decided to hit the sack. I'm pissed, because it would have been cool to see such a once-in-a-lifetime finish," said small forward Rudy Gay, who was already resting up for his Wednesday game against Los Angeles when the buzzer sounded on the Clippers' comeback. "That kind of determination and refusal to give up would have been pretty inspiring for our team to see, especially now that we're down a game in the playoffs." Grizzlies coach Lionel Hollins is standing by his decision to send the team to bed early, claiming he hates it when players are tired and grumpy during practice.

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