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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Groom Getting Cold Feet About Bachelor Party

WESTPORT, MA—Husband-to-be Matthew Reese experienced "second thoughts" Friday, just moments before attending the bachelor party his friends had been planning for months was set to begin. "How do I know I've picked the right stripper?" said Reese, as he mentally prepared himself to take long walk down the aisle of tables in the Scores VIP lounge. "I've been imagining this moment since I was 12, but now I'm worried the lap dances won't live up to my expectations. What if I'm just not ready for this level of irresponsibility?" Reese went on to say he regretted committing to a single topless bar for the rest of his night, but felt that it was too late to change his mind.

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