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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Gross Doctors Recommend Drinking 8 Warm Cups Of Clam Juice A Day

ATLANTA—A report released Friday by the Centers for Disease Control's Department of Gross Medicine concludes that people should consume eight cups of warm clam juice a day. "There are clear health benefits to drinking room-temperature clam juice that still has bits of the shell floating around in it," said disgusting physician Dr. Stephen Lewis, adding that in order to ensure the body absorbs the nutrients, one must allow the tepid, briny bivalve-mollusk extract to sit in the back of one's throat for several seconds before swallowing. "After you drink your fourth cup of clam juice, eat whatever is in between your toes, or stir your toe jam into your fifth cup of clam juice so you can have both at the same time. It's great for you." The gag- inducing doctors added that individuals with shellfish allergies may, as a substitute, chug a gallon of tofu runoff.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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