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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Group Of '90s Footnotes Welcomes Gingrich Home

NEW YORK—Saying they held no grudge against him and were just glad he was back where he belongs, a group of cultural footnotes from the 1990s announced today that they were happy to welcome home former Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich. "We told him there wasn't a place for him in 2012, but Newt's always been a bit stubborn," said Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale, who spoke to reporters at a festive gathering that also featured Whitewater prosecutor Kenneth Starr, television personality Arsenio Hall, the bumblebee girl from the video for the Blind Melon song "No Rain," and former NBA forward Dennis Rodman. "All that matters now is that he's home safe, tucked away with the rest of us in a sidebar of late-20th-century Americana. As long as he promises never to leave again, all is forgiven." At press time, Gingrich was seen tearfully embracing participants in the Million Man March.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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