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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Guy At Bar Had Similar Experience, But Better

KENT, OH—A story narrated to a group of friends Friday night was almost immediately overshadowed by an anecdote from 28-year-old John Kiley, who informed everyone present that when he experienced almost exactly the same situation, the circumstances  were far more interesting.

"It's funny you mention that, because I saw that band, too, but it was last year, when they were at the peak of their ability and still had their original bassist," Kiley said. "They did a double encore that night. Pretty rare for them."

Kiley later added that he had that one baseball card, too, but he got it in a pack he bought at the store, which allowed him to make a much larger profit when he later sold it.

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