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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Guy From Sopranos Drops By Local Pizza Parlor For Free Slice

MANALAPAN, NJ—Upon getting hungry, actor Tony Sirico, best known for his role as Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri on The Sopranos, drove to a Manalapan-area pizza parlor Tuesday in order to obtain a free slice of cheese pizza. Sirico, who entered the establishment wearing a jogging suit similar to the one his character wore in the popular HBO series, was immediately recognized and offered a complimentary slice, which he accepted. "I didn't ask for extra toppings or nothing, because that'd be pushing it," said Sirico, who also did not correct the store's owner when he referred to him as "Paulie." "But I loaded it up pretty good with the garlic and Parmesan shakers they got off to the side. That's the way to do it." Sirico then drove 15 minutes to Don's Pizza King in Allenwood, NJ to get another slice.

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