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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Guy From Sopranos Drops By Local Pizza Parlor For Free Slice

MANALAPAN, NJ—Upon getting hungry, actor Tony Sirico, best known for his role as Paulie "Walnuts" Gualtieri on The Sopranos, drove to a Manalapan-area pizza parlor Tuesday in order to obtain a free slice of cheese pizza. Sirico, who entered the establishment wearing a jogging suit similar to the one his character wore in the popular HBO series, was immediately recognized and offered a complimentary slice, which he accepted. "I didn't ask for extra toppings or nothing, because that'd be pushing it," said Sirico, who also did not correct the store's owner when he referred to him as "Paulie." "But I loaded it up pretty good with the garlic and Parmesan shakers they got off to the side. That's the way to do it." Sirico then drove 15 minutes to Don's Pizza King in Allenwood, NJ to get another slice.

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