Guy 'Just Giving You A Hard Time' Truly Despises You

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Vol 42 Issue 46

O.J. Confession Book Cancelled

After stirring up a cloud of controversy, Fox and ReganBooks parent company News Corp cancelled both publication of the O.J. Simpson book If I Did...

Male Birth-Control Pill

Scientists are reportedly close to perfecting a birth-control pill for men that will stop the development of sperm. What do you think?

Web Hits 100 Million Sites

According to Internet-monitoring company Netcraft, there are now 100 million websites with unique domain names. What do you think?

Nov. 18, 1920

Fixed World Series Heralds First-Ever Moment of Excitement In Baseball
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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Guy 'Just Giving You A Hard Time' Truly Despises You

RED BANK, NJ—Several coworkers have confirmed that colleague Eric Grasso's daily ribbing stems from a deep-seated hatred of you and everything you stand for. "Hey champ, pretty fancy shirt you got there," said Grasso as you walked past the break room wearing your slightly glossy blue dress shirt. "Going clubbing tonight, or are you wearing that cheap cologne just for me? Kidding. C'mon, you know I love you." The news will not stop Grasso from pretending to push you in front of a moving bus during your lunch break later today, while half the office, including the woman from Accounting you were planning to ask out, looks on.

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