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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.
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Guy Looking To Feel Horrible About Aspect Of Everyday Life Decides To Watch Documentary

LANSING, MI—Seeking a sense of bottomless dread about an aspect of ordinary daily life that had heretofore seemed innocuous to him, local resident Michael Strzpek decided to watch any of a thousand documentary films available to stream on netflix.com Thursday evening. “I already feel terrible about American politics, advertising, water, dolphins, fast food, and Walt Disney, so let’s see what other documentaries can make me feel terrible about something it never occurred to me to feel terrible about before,” the 31-year-old claims adjuster told reporters. “I’m just really in the mood to feel like complete and utter shit about something I do, eat, purchase, patronize, or support, and I want the depths of its ugliness revealed to me through a combination of shocking footage, interviews with experts, and sober voice-over narration.” At press time, Strzpek figured this documentary exposing the dangers of wind turbines “should do the trick.”

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