Guy Looking To Feel Horrible About Aspect Of Everyday Life Decides To Watch Documentary

Top Headlines

Recent News

Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


Guy Looking To Feel Horrible About Aspect Of Everyday Life Decides To Watch Documentary

LANSING, MI—Seeking a sense of bottomless dread about an aspect of ordinary daily life that had heretofore seemed innocuous to him, local resident Michael Strzpek decided to watch any of a thousand documentary films available to stream on Thursday evening. “I already feel terrible about American politics, advertising, water, dolphins, fast food, and Walt Disney, so let’s see what other documentaries can make me feel terrible about something it never occurred to me to feel terrible about before,” the 31-year-old claims adjuster told reporters. “I’m just really in the mood to feel like complete and utter shit about something I do, eat, purchase, patronize, or support, and I want the depths of its ugliness revealed to me through a combination of shocking footage, interviews with experts, and sober voice-over narration.” At press time, Strzpek figured this documentary exposing the dangers of wind turbines “should do the trick.”