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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Guy Wearing Texans Jersey Mercilessly Abused By Fans At Reliant Stadium

HOUSTON—Shouts of “Go to hell!” and “Eat shit, loser!” were heard from the stands Sunday night as a man wearing a Texans jersey was subjected to fierce harassment and abuse by fans at Reliant Stadium, sources confirmed. “Take that off, asshole!” one fan reportedly screamed as a cascade of boos, insults, and obscenities from the entire section were directed at the man, who was also given the middle finger by several spectators in an adjacent row. “You think you can show up here wearing that shit? Go home before you get your fucking ass kicked!” At press time, after being hit with a cup of beer, security had escorted the man out of the stadium for his own safety.

UPDATE:

Sources just confirmed that the aforementioned section of fans has resumed watching the game and are now loudly shouting obscenities at the Texans.

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