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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Guy Who Got Laid Off Just Glad Multi-National Corporation Will Make It

DANBURY, CT—After learning that he had been laid off Friday by global conglomerate Honeywell International, senior sales associate Edward Morway expressed relief that his employer of 14 years would be able to scrape by. "When [department head] John [Condos] called me into his office and explained the tough business climate, my heart just sank for the company," said Morway, adding that he "immediately understood" how cutting his $79,000 annual salary would help keep the multibillion-dollar corporation afloat during a feeble economic recovery. "Sure, I'm worried about providing for my wife and kids and making my house payments, but Honeywell executives have 128,000 employees and stockholders in locations all over the world to think about, so it would be unfair to even compare my troubles to theirs." Morway also said that the decision of the Fortune 500 corporation to fire him right before he received matching retirement funds was a "really smart move," given the lean times Honeywell was currently facing.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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