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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Guy Who Just Beat You To Bus Stop Usain Bolt

NEW YORK—Eyewitnesses confirm that the unusually quick young man who sprinted past you on the sidewalk this morning carrying a briefcase in one hand and a tall coffee in the other and easily caught the bus that you missed by over 10 seconds was, in fact, multiple Olympic gold medalist and world record holder Usain Bolt. "Why, hello there," said Bolt when you finally arrived at the office, noting that he had already finished his coffee, gotten the last onion bagel from the break room, taken the sports page from the office copy of USA Today, and started chatting up the new girl in marketing. "What kept you?" People who saw Bolt run past you say he would have caught the bus even more easily had he not been celebrating and taunting you for the last half-block.

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