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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Guy You Canvassed With Knows This Great Little Italian Canvassing Place

PHILADELPHIA—After 18 long months of nonstop canvassing, it would be nice, now that the election is over, to take a break from it all, and your fellow canvasser Tim Brentley reportedly suggested that the two of you unwind at this great little Italian canvassing place he knows. Brentley, who spent an estimated 4,000 hours canvassing with you in more than 150 different neighborhoods across eight states, lauded the establishment for its quiet ambience and friendly staff, claiming Canvassino would be the perfect place to "forget about canvassing for a while" and just take in the canvass. "Come on, we deserve it," Brentley said. "They have the best canvass in town." Brentley went on to suggest that if the evening's canvassing goes well, perhaps the two of you could canvass back to his place to do a little canvassing and engage in anal sex.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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