adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Guy You Canvassed With Knows This Great Little Italian Canvassing Place

PHILADELPHIA—After 18 long months of nonstop canvassing, it would be nice, now that the election is over, to take a break from it all, and your fellow canvasser Tim Brentley reportedly suggested that the two of you unwind at this great little Italian canvassing place he knows. Brentley, who spent an estimated 4,000 hours canvassing with you in more than 150 different neighborhoods across eight states, lauded the establishment for its quiet ambience and friendly staff, claiming Canvassino would be the perfect place to "forget about canvassing for a while" and just take in the canvass. "Come on, we deserve it," Brentley said. "They have the best canvass in town." Brentley went on to suggest that if the evening's canvassing goes well, perhaps the two of you could canvass back to his place to do a little canvassing and engage in anal sex.

More from this section

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close