Guy's Entire Job Just Asking People If They Have Time For A Quick Chat

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 10

Iowa Fashion Week Begins

DES MOINES, IA—The greater Des Moines area was abuzz with excitement Monday as Iowa’s annual Fashion Week officially kicked off, opening a busy seven days of runway shows and clothing exhibitions showcasing Iowa’s hottest new styles from...

Albany Bucket Museum

Learn about the history of buckets with a self-guided tour through the museum's four fascinating exhibits, then sit down and watch the hourly documentary about buckets and their role in winning America's independence.

God Worried He Fucked Up His Children

THE HEAVENS—Saying that maybe He wasn’t around enough and could have expressed His divine love a little better throughout the history of mankind, Our Lord God and Almighty Father expressed concern Thursday that He might have fucked up His chil...

Justin Bieber Hospitalized After Fainting At Concert

Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber was seen struggling during a performance of “Beauty and a Beat” at a show in London last night before walking off stage and fainting out of view of the audience, and was later taken to a hospital.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Spring

Comedy

Guy's Entire Job Just Asking People If They Have Time For A Quick Chat

BLAWNOX, PA—According to employees at Honeycutt-Talbot Communications, Associate Manager Ross Urbansky’s sole professional responsibility appears to be walking around the office and periodically asking employees if they have a minute or two for a quick chat. “Essentially the only task I’ve ever seen Ross execute as an employee of this company is to pop by someone’s desk, ask them how they’re doing, and then say he’s wondering if they have a second to sit down later for a real quick check-in,” said human resources director Justine Griggs, adding that she sees Urbansky perform this specific function at least two or three times in the course of every workday. “I literally have never seen him do anything else. He must just be having quick chats with people all day, although I’ve never actually seen him having a quick chat, only asking people if they have time for one. And the thing is, I’m pretty sure the guy makes over six figures.” At press time, Urbansky was wondering if account manager Jeff Powell maybe had time around 3 p.m. or so for a quick chat.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More