'Hägar The Horrible' Cartoonist Expected More For 40th Anniversary

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Vol 49 Issue 06

Tips For A Romantic Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Here are some tips for putting together the perfect romantic evening with your loved one: Make his favorite home-cooked meal and leave a trail of it leading to the bed. If you forgot to buy her flowers, ...

Song Crafted In The Deepest Pit Of Hell Wins Big At Grammys

LOS ANGELES—A song forged by the Ruler of Darkness himself in the blackest bowels of the accursed underworld proved to be the big winner at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards Sunday, taking home an impressive six of the music industry’s top honors, including Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance.

SeaWorld Unveils New 20 Whales Stuffed In Pool Show

A PR firm advises the United States to distance itself from Alabama, the FDA announces peanut butter contains traces of rat feces but life's weird like that sometimes, and a doomed rabbit teaches an 8-year-old about responsibility.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

'Hägar The Horrible' Cartoonist Expected More For 40th Anniversary

SIOUX FALLS, SD—Hägar The Horrible cartoonist Chris Browne admitted Thursday that he was disappointed with the lack of attention his syndicated comic received on its 40th anniversary. “It’s not like I was expecting to be on the cover of TIME or anything—but would a little feature in USA Today with a headline like ‘America’s Favorite Viking Turns 40’ have killed anyone?” said Browne, who has been writing and illustrating the strip since the retirement of his father, Dik Browne, who created it in 1973. “Or maybe Google could have had Snert the dog barking out their logo. I don’t know. Something.” Browne said he plans to get “plenty of coverage” for the 41st anniversary by penning a storyline in which Hägar returns home to find his village burned and his family raped and murdered.

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