adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Half-Fabricated Résumé Still Unimpressive

DALLAS–The résumé of aspiring telejournalist Jonathan Krieger, liberally padded with exaggerations and flat-out lies, was deemed "unimpressive" Monday by Sandi Robertson, human-resources director of Dallas NBC affiliate KXAS. "This applicant has served as assistant news director at a number of medium-market stations," Robertson said of Krieger, 25, who once spent a summer working at an El Paso public-access station. "But even so, his experience is just not at the level we're looking for." Robertson was similarly underwhelmed by Krieger's alleged internship at the Fox Family Channel and the "Reporter Of The Year" award he did not win at his college radio station.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close