adBlockCheck

Half-Fabricated Résumé Still Unimpressive

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Half-Fabricated Résumé Still Unimpressive

DALLAS–The résumé of aspiring telejournalist Jonathan Krieger, liberally padded with exaggerations and flat-out lies, was deemed "unimpressive" Monday by Sandi Robertson, human-resources director of Dallas NBC affiliate KXAS. "This applicant has served as assistant news director at a number of medium-market stations," Robertson said of Krieger, 25, who once spent a summer working at an El Paso public-access station. "But even so, his experience is just not at the level we're looking for." Robertson was similarly underwhelmed by Krieger's alleged internship at the Fox Family Channel and the "Reporter Of The Year" award he did not win at his college radio station.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close