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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Halftime Show At Bruins-Devils Hockey Game Disrupted By Second Period Of Play

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—A combination marching band and pompom squad show planned for the halfway point of Tuesday night's Boston-New Jersey hockey game was disrupted by the continuation of on-ice play during the second of the game's three periods, Devils team officials announced Thursday morning. "I take full responsibility for the injuries to Bruins center Sergei Samsonov, Devils defenseman Brian Rafalski, and the trombone section of the Verona Marching Hillbillies, all but two of whom I'm told are out of the hospital," Devils Events And Entertainment Coordinator Janine Petersen said during a press conference at which she also tendered her resignation. "In seeking to provide a comprehensive sports-entertainment package for the whole family regardless of hockey knowledge, I failed to keep in mind the three-period structure of the game." Petersen, who has not yet been charged with any crimes, was hired on a trial basis by the Devils in September despite her involvement in the tragic halftime show at this year's Daytona 500.

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