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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Halftime Show At Bruins-Devils Hockey Game Disrupted By Second Period Of Play

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—A combination marching band and pompom squad show planned for the halfway point of Tuesday night's Boston-New Jersey hockey game was disrupted by the continuation of on-ice play during the second of the game's three periods, Devils team officials announced Thursday morning. "I take full responsibility for the injuries to Bruins center Sergei Samsonov, Devils defenseman Brian Rafalski, and the trombone section of the Verona Marching Hillbillies, all but two of whom I'm told are out of the hospital," Devils Events And Entertainment Coordinator Janine Petersen said during a press conference at which she also tendered her resignation. "In seeking to provide a comprehensive sports-entertainment package for the whole family regardless of hockey knowledge, I failed to keep in mind the three-period structure of the game." Petersen, who has not yet been charged with any crimes, was hired on a trial basis by the Devils in September despite her involvement in the tragic halftime show at this year's Daytona 500.

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