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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Halloween Decorations Blending In Nicely With Christmas Lights

PRAIRIE VILLAGE, KS—Regarding the overall cohesive visual effect with satisfaction, local man Thomas Lonergan told reporters Thursday how nicely his family’s Halloween decorations were blending in with their Christmas lights. “I wasn’t sure how it would all come together, but once I got those twinkle lights strung up on the porch, I noticed that they cast a pretty nice glow over the plastic skeletons and fake headstones we’ve left scattered across the lawn,” said Longeran, adding that the large inflatable ghost in the yard actually looked pretty close to a snowman when several reindeer were placed nearby it. “And actually, the hay from the pumpkin patch can just stay spread in front of the bushes for the Nativity scene. Huh. This is going to be less work than I thought.” At press time, Lonergan had just gone ahead and saved himself some time by repurposing the Crypt Keeper as one of the three Wise Men.


Cheetos: not to be paired with egg nog.

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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

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