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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Ham Glazed To Dangerously Delicious Levels

PEORIA, IL—The EPA issued a warning Monday to the greater Peoria area regarding the "dangerously delicious" ham being prepared by Cora Daly of Riverside Street. "Mrs. Daly has gone too far in overglazing this already succulent and flavorful ham," the report read. "If emergency de-appetizing measures are not implemented immediately, the ham may reach catastrophically mouth-watering levels of sweet ham-tastic goodness." The report criticized Daly for "willfully and recklessly" adding fresh pineapple slices to the surface of the ham, "ignoring the obvious threat posed to the willpower of area diners."

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