Handlers Desperate To Prevent Tara Reid Political Awakening

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 6, 2015

ARIES: One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die, especially when it's a person like you who only sees the cement truck at the last second.

A Timeline Of Upcoming Superhero Movies

Following the massive successes of the Spider-Man, Batman, Avengers, and X-Men franchises, studios Marvel and DC Entertainment have announced as many as 40 upcoming superhero movies to be released over the next six years ...

Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back

Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week.

TV Show Under Fire For Depicting Murder

LOS ANGELES—In what is being described as perhaps the most shocking and distasteful moment in broadcast history, the popular primetime television show Criminal Minds is facing heavy criticism today for airing an episode that depicted the act ...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Race Relations

Handlers Desperate To Prevent Tara Reid Political Awakening

LOS ANGELES—Tara Reid's agent, publicist, and other members of her management team are working feverishly to avert a potential political awakening in the 26-year-old actress, sources reported Tuesday.

Tara Reid

"Thus far, Tara has been blissfully oblivious to world affairs," said Rick Stein, Reid's agent at International Creative Management. "But we must remain ever-vigilant of the possibility that, as her star continues to rise, she will develop a political consciousness like so many others in Hollywood."

"As bad as she is, could you imagine if, during an interview for a new movie, she started going off on saving the animals or ending world hunger or something?" Stein said. "So long as she's my client, I will do everything in my power to ensure that this never happens."

The star of such films as American Pie, Josie And The Pussycats, and National Lampoon's Van Wilder, Reid is a fixture on the L.A. party circuit. She also achieved a measure of notoriety in tabloids and on gossip pages last year following her broken engagement to MTV VJ Carson Daly. Though there is no indication that Reid takes an interest in politics or current events, or is even registered to vote, Stein and his associates are keeping an eye out for telltale signs of nascent awareness of social issues.

"I was having lunch with Tara the other day, and she told me she was thinking of becoming a vegetarian," said Libby Winters, Reid's publicist. "I thought, 'Oh, fuck—[personal assistant] Kimberly [Braterman] didn't screen Tara's mail thoroughly and let a PETA mass-mailing slip through.' So I casually asked Tara where she got that idea. She said she was at a party with [socialite] Paris Hilton, and Paris told Tara that her boyfriend said her pussy juice tasted better after she quit eating red meat. I can't tell you how relieved I was."

Winters went on to note that while Reid frequently practices yoga—widely regarded as a "gateway exercise" to spiritual and political awareness—the activity has not had any such effect.

Reporting regularly to Reid manager Kevin Adrian, members of the actress' entourage are under strict orders not to expose Reid to politically suggestive material. They have also been instructed to inform Adrian of any action or remark which may indicate an emergent social consciousness on the part of Reid, however embryonic or misdirected.

Reid's hairstylist, Frederic Chukka, recently became alarmed when she asked him if the hairspray he was using was "environmentally friendly."

Tara Reid and model/socialite Paris Hilton at a Sean John fashion show in New York.

"At first, I didn't know what to say," Chukka said. "I stammered something about the government banning all that fluorocarbon stuff in the '70s. Tara gave me this look like she didn't quite believe me. I said to myself, 'Think fast, Frederic, if you want to do her hair for next year's Golden Globes.'"

Continued Chukka: "So I said to Tara, 'Even if they didn't ban all that stuff, no one cares besides a couple of ugly, mousy hippie bitches who are just jealous of rock-star babes like you. You deserve to shine, sweetheart. Besides, I can't think of a better product to give you that just-been-fucked look.' She just nodded."

The handlers' vigilance has extended into Reid's acting choices. Adrian said he encourages his client to play mainly sexy, lighthearted, apolitical roles. As an added measure, he counts on Reid's personal assistant, Kimberly Braterman, to ensure that the on-set environment is politics-free.

"There was a lot of concern when she was cast in Dr. T And The Women," Braterman said. "[Director Robert] Altman is known for his subversive, countercultural views, and [co-star] Richard Gere is a passionate advocate for Tibetan independence. It was a dangerous situation to put her in, but by keeping Tara's trailer far away from Richard's and by frequently pulling her off the set for premieres, press junkets, and racy pictorials for Stuff magazine and Maxim, we managed to shield her from any potential indoctrination."

One Hollywood celebrity who has openly condemned Reid's handlers is actress Jaime Pressly, star of Joe Dirt and Tomcats.

"It is just so unfair," Pressly said. "Because of her control-freak handlers, Tara will never learn of the joys and rewards of political awareness. Since my own awakening last year, I feel so much more full of knowledge and awareness, and I think celebrities should use their fame to educate the public about important issues. Like, for example, did you know that women in Pakistine have to be buried alive with their dead husbands, whether they want to or not? That is so wrong."

Added Pressly: "Oh, and by the way, milk is nothing but liquid meat."

Next Story