adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Harry Connick, Jr. Dies In Piano Fire

NEW ORLEANS—According to a statement released by the New Orleans Police Department, a piano fire claimed the life of celebrated singer Harry Connick, Jr. late Tuesday night. Witnesses on the scene said Connick was in the midst of a particularly jaunty rendition of "S'wonderful" when the piano—which had been inspected just two weeks prior to the incident—suddenly burst into flames. "The burning lacquer just adhered to his skin like napalm," friend and witness Jamie Walters said. "Then the blaze got hotter, and the piano wires began to snap, cutting into his hands, arms, and face like steel razor whips. We tried to pull him away from there, but he kept running back to finish the song." Connick was 43.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close