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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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HBO Film Reveals Liberace Was Good Friends With Gay Men

NEW YORK—According to critics, the new Liberace biopic Behind The Candelabra, which premiered on HBO last month, reveals that the famed musician and performer was good friends with a number of gay men in his personal life. “Everybody knows Liberace for his extravagant wardrobe, virtuosic piano performances, and endearing Midwestern sensibilities, but what a lot of people don’t know, which this film shows, is that Liberace also counted a number of gay men among his close personal friends,” said television critic Jeff Wasser of the film, which shows Liberace, famed pianist and lover of figure-skating champ Sonja Henie, developing friendships with many homosexuals, whom he often invited to his home for dinner, swimming, and conversation. “He was apparently quite progressive in that regard and did not discriminate against gay men in the slightest, despite being a famous ladies’ man. In fact, he would even bestow numerous gifts upon his gay male friends as a token of his friendship.” Wasser added that he particularly enjoyed the film’s portrayal of Liberace’s relationship with his gay chauffeur, who became perhaps his closest buddy.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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