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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Headline About So-Called Lobsterman Extremely Misleading

BAY VILLAGE, OH—Numerous internet users reported feeling extremely misled Monday by a news website’s headline, “Lobsterman Safe After Being Pulled From Ocean,” noting that the associated article contained neither images nor a detailed description of the promised aquatic Lobsterman creature. “I don’t understand—the guy in the picture just looks like a regular person,” a visibly disappointed Josh Huber, 29, told reporters after clicking on a link to the article with the expectation that he would be shown photographs of a large half-human, half-crustacean hybrid that had been captured. “I thought he’d have some big claws and a tail, maybe antennae or something. I guess I knew he probably wouldn’t have an exoskeleton or anything like that, but I figured he would at least be red, and I definitely thought he would be at least a 6-foot-tall lobster with a human head that speaks like a person. What gives?” As of press time, Huber was mulling over the possibility that the man in the photo might be the one who caught the Lobsterman.

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