Healthy Living Tips For Shawnas

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Healthy Living Tips For Shawnas

This blog is reprinted with permission from the Department of Health and Human Services

Having a healthy lifestyle isn't just about staying out of the sun (or out of a tanning bed). Here are some simple tips to help Shawnas participate in a healthier life:

Eat Right
Corn nuts and jalapeno poppers are not a suitable meal. Eating a balanced, nutritious diet can help you get back in to your acid-washed jeans and fringed Styx crop top that you haven't been able to put on since '97.

Don't Smoke
Smoking increases your risk of lung cancer, heart disease, and running into your ex, Rick, outside the 7-11. Besides, smoking can turn your remaining teeth brown. Above all, never smoke while pregnant as it is very harmful for your unborn children. Don't forget how Tammy turned out.

Limit Alcohol Use
Alcohol can raise your risk of liver disease, cancer, and the likelihood that you'll have promiscuous sex with Darryl's cousin again. Drinking more than four drinks in a row is considered binge drinking for a woman. Note: if you are drinking directly from a bottle of Malibu, that does not count as just one drink.

Practice Injury Prevention
Make sure to check under your trailer on a regular basis for evidence of rodents, fire hazards, and your brother Kevin who might try to cook meth under there again.