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Heat Fans Wake Up To Learn Team Won Game 7

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In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Heat Fans Wake Up To Learn Team Won Game 7

MIAMI—A number of self-proclaimed “big Miami Heat fans” woke up this morning, turned on the local news, and were reportedly thrilled to learn that their team won Game 7 of the NBA Finals last night, sources confirmed Friday. “So they won the trophy?” said 47-year-old Coral Gables resident Frank Gardner, echoing the sentiments of millions of die-hard Heat fans throughout the area, who went on to note that they started watching the team more since the franchise acquired “LeBron James and Chris Bush [sic].” “We turned in early last night, so this was just great news to wake up to. So what does this mean for them now? Do they move on, or how does it work? I'm excited.” When told of the victory, a number of members of the Heat Nation said they love Shaquille O’Neal, think he’s a character, and that he must have played very well last night for the Heat to have won.

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