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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Heat Surprised It Took 4 Games To Beat Bucks

MIAMI—Reflecting on their first-round playoff series, members of the Miami Heat expressed their genuine surprise Thursday that they needed four games to beat the Milwaukee Bucks, team sources confirmed. “I know Dwyane [Wade] has been banged up, but it’s still pretty shocking that we couldn’t close out a team like the Bucks in less than four,” said small forward LeBron James, explaining that he and his teammates had expected to win the best-of-seven series in “no more than two or three games, tops.” “With the quality on our roster, there’s no excuse for letting the Bucks hang around like that. It was a real wake-up call for us, and we clearly need to step up our game for the rest of the playoffs.” James added that he hasn’t been so embarrassed since last season’s Eastern Conference Finals, when it inexplicably took the Heat seven games to beat the Boston Celtics.

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