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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Heightened League Awareness Prompts B.J. Raji To Schedule Breast Exam

GREEN BAY, WI—The NFL’s highly visible efforts to support Breast Cancer Awareness Month succeeded this week in motivating Green Bay nose tackle B.J. Raji to schedule an appointment with Packers doctors to receive a mammogram, team sources confirmed Thursday. “This is a very serious deal, and you can’t get this stuff checked out too soon,” said Raji, who had just administered a breast self-examination in the team’s locker room while encouraging defensive end Ryan Pickett to do the same. “It’s important to get to know how your breasts normally look and feel. I have to check myself as often and carefully as possible, because pretty much my whole body is lumps.” Raji, who has recently become more concerned about his health, also asked team doctors to perform a cervical screening.

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