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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Helicopter Ride Pretty Much Delivers The Goods

HOMESTEAD, FL—Following a tour of the Everglades National Park, helicopter passenger Pete Palmissano reported that the trip was basically every bit as amazing as he had anticipated since age 4. "Was it pretty much awesome? Yeah," Palmissano said of the 15-minute ride that featured two swoops and a full 40 seconds of hovering 20 feet over the ground. "It's a helicopter ride. Of course it was." Palmissano reported that in stark contrast to the thrill of his aviation experience, his drive back to the hotel in a rented Kia pretty much sucked.

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