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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Help Jeff Gordon Learn To Read

Race car driver, Jeff Gordon's new charity organization, Zoom Through Reading, aims to teach Jeff Gordon to read. Guests can attend a star-studded benefit this week to raise money for the cause. Gordon promises that all attendees will have a chance to take a photo with Gordon as well as help him learn the alphabet song.

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