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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Herculean Effort, Astronomical Expense Lead To Photo Of Whole Family At Disney World

ORLANDO, FL—A Sisyphean, continent-spanning voyage and the depletion of six years of savings at long last resulted this Tuesday in a single photograph of all four Schoepke family members in front of Cinderella Castle at the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. "Hey, all right!" matriarch Brenda Schoepke said following the click of the camera shutter, a culmination that required an arduous, backbreaking overland journey from Idaho, many months of planning, and a monumental sum of money, with the only physical relic being the photograph of the squinting, badly sunburned Schoepkes in ill-fitting Disney-character-emblazoned T-shirts. "That one's going straight into the photo album!" The Schoepkes agreed the grueling, extravagantly expensive Disney World odyssey was much more successful than 2009's onerous trek to the Grand Canyon, which resulted in nothing after Brenda's camera was left behind at a highway rest stop.

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