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Hero Publicist Honored

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Hero Publicist Honored

HOLLYWOOD, CA–For "heroism in publicizing beyond all hope," Hollywood publicist Derek DeBoer was honored Monday for his work promoting the not-at-all-anticipated Buena Vista Pictures romantic comedy Be My Baby, starring Steve Guttenberg and Whoopi Goldberg. "For courage and fortitude in generating buzz where there is no hope of buzz, hype where there is no hope of hype, we recognize the heroic deeds of Derek DeBoer," said Trent Davidoff, president of the American Association Of Publicists. "Mr. DeBoer, your brave efforts helped saved the jobs of countless Buena Vista execs who green-lighted this God awful project, and for this they are eternally grateful."

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