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Hershey's Announces It's All Out Of Candy

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Hershey's Announces It's All Out Of Candy

'It's Been A Hell Of A Run, Folks,' Say Retiring Executives

HERSHEY, PA—Hershey's, the American confectionery giant behind such treats as Hershey's Kisses, Twizzlers, and the Symphony chocolate bar, announced Tuesday that it had run out of candy and would cease operations immediately. "Well, that'll about do it," Hershey's CEO John P. Bilbrey said at a press conference as workers boarded up a factory behind him. "In 1894, Milton S. Hershey started this company with nothing more than a dream and a warehouse filled with 8 trillion individually wrapped pieces of candy. But now the cupboard is bare, I'm afraid. We had a good run, but the fat lady has sung." Bilbrey concluded his speech by digging into his pockets and throwing one last handful of Mr. Goodbar miniatures to reporters.

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