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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Hertz Introduces Short-Term Rental For Just Driving Around To Clear Head

PARK RIDGE, NJ—Hoping to win the business of those who just need to get out of the house for a while and clear their heads, the Hertz Corporation unveiled a new service Monday that allows customers to rent a car for as briefly as five minutes. "Whether you just blew the big job interview or wasted an entire weekend with your in-laws, take however long you need to get your shit together," said spokesman Dale Rodriguez, describing the service for people who don't want to pay for a full day's rental but do want to roll down the windows, feel the wind blowing through their hair, and pound on the steering wheel to the beat of Boston's "More Than A Feeling." "It's so easy you don't even have to worry about parking: Once you've gotten some perspective on the situation, just get out and walk away." Hertz acknowledged renters would be charged an additional fee for silently crying in the parked car passed the allotted rental time.

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