NEW YORK—At a loss as to how they could emerge from a weekend of regular-season football without any fresh insight whatsoever, ashamed and humbled members of the sports media admitted to the public Tuesday that they learned absolutely nothing from week 11 of the NFL season.
NEW YORK—Hideki Matsui's interpreter Roger Kahlon has been unable explain to the Yankees' Japanese-speaking left fielder that former teammate Cory Lidle died instantaneously last Wednesday after flying his four-seat, SR20 aircraft into a high-rise apartment building in Manhattan's Upper East Side. "At this point, I'm pretty sure [Matsui] thinks Lidle is either in his four-bedroom apartment or on a 20-minute plane ride to upstate New York," Kahlon said, adding that in order to make Lidle's whereabouts clear to Matsui, he has even resorted to making one of his hands into a plane, the other into a building, crashing them together, and making explosion noises. "This kind of thing just doesn't translate very well." According to Kahlon, the last time he asked Matsui where Cory Lidle was, a confused Matsui answered, "The bullpen."