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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Hideki Matsui Unable To Grasp Translator's Explanation Of Where Cory Lidle Is

NEW YORK—Hideki Matsui's interpreter Roger Kahlon has been unable explain to the Yankees' Japanese-speaking left fielder that former teammate Cory Lidle died instantaneously last Wednesday after flying his four-seat, SR20 aircraft into a high-rise apartment building in Manhattan's Upper East Side. "At this point, I'm pretty sure [Matsui] thinks Lidle is either in his four-bedroom apartment or on a 20-minute plane ride to upstate New York," Kahlon said, adding that in order to make Lidle's whereabouts clear to Matsui, he has even resorted to making one of his hands into a plane, the other into a building, crashing them together, and making explosion noises. "This kind of thing just doesn't translate very well." According to Kahlon, the last time he asked Matsui where Cory Lidle was, a confused Matsui answered, "The bullpen."
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