ARIES: Not only will romance, adventure, and thrills refuse to come to you, they will also refuse to come to theaters near you.
NEW YORK—Proponents of family-themed high art fired another salvo in the high-culture wars Monday, saying the new opera Darwin: Origin, Selection, Preservation, Struggle contains provocative lyrics, secular acts, and entire anti-Christian movements. "To think that this relativist filth could be live at Lincoln Center for young children to see," said Rev. L. Duncan Hoskins III, an Upper-East-Side Baptist minister and director of the Center For A Better Class Of Family. "We cannot allow this creeping decay that began with the decadence of La Boheme and spiraled into the subversion that is An American Tragedy to further rot our high society." Hoskins added that there were many wholesome opera alternatives for traditional men and women of culture, including the Mississippi Opera's marathon 22-hour adaptation of the Left Behind series.