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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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High School Production Of Our Town Features Line Memorization

MORGANTOWN, WV—Surprised audience members reported Sunday that Morgantown High School's production of Thornton Wilder's Pulitzer Prize–winning play Our Town features line memorization, a marked change from last year's staging of Guys And Dolls.

"Don't know when I've seen such a lovely wedding. But I always cry. Don't know why it is, but I always cry," said sophomore Kendra Quinn, accurately reciting a line of dialogue from the role of Mrs. Soames, even though she was not reading the words from a script while on stage. "I just like to see young people happy, don't you? Oh, I think it's lovely."

Drama teacher and Our Town director Max Shumar said he has ambitions to add scenery, blocking, and vocal inflection to future MHS theater productions, but for now, he just wants to "enjoy the moment."

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