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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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High School Quarterback Starting To Suspect Friendship With Nick Saban Founded On Ulterior Motives

LUFKIN, TX—Despite enjoying the constant attention and lengthy chats on the phone every night, 16-year-old quarterback prospect Colby Spear told reporters Thursday that he is beginning to suspect his friendship with University of Alabama head coach Nick Saban was founded on ulterior motives. “Coach Saban introduced himself to me right after I started breaking the passing records at my school, and it did seem kind of weird, but I just assumed he wanted to make friends with someone who loved football as much as he does,” said Spear, adding that Saban, like all the other adults he knows, mostly just marvels at how fast he’s growing and asks boring questions about his plans for college. “Still, I can’t shake the feeling that he wants something from me. Maybe it’s the way he’s always complimenting my intangibles, suggesting I’d be great in a pro-style offense, or telling me I’d look really sharp in crimson and white.” Spear, who did not want to rush to judgment, reportedly plans to run his theory past some of his other friends, specifically Louisiana State University football coach Les Miles when the pair meet for lunch next week.

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