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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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High School Quarterback Starting To Suspect Friendship With Nick Saban Founded On Ulterior Motives

LUFKIN, TX—Despite enjoying the constant attention and lengthy chats on the phone every night, 16-year-old quarterback prospect Colby Spear told reporters Thursday that he is beginning to suspect his friendship with University of Alabama head coach Nick Saban was founded on ulterior motives. “Coach Saban introduced himself to me right after I started breaking the passing records at my school, and it did seem kind of weird, but I just assumed he wanted to make friends with someone who loved football as much as he does,” said Spear, adding that Saban, like all the other adults he knows, mostly just marvels at how fast he’s growing and asks boring questions about his plans for college. “Still, I can’t shake the feeling that he wants something from me. Maybe it’s the way he’s always complimenting my intangibles, suggesting I’d be great in a pro-style offense, or telling me I’d look really sharp in crimson and white.” Spear, who did not want to rush to judgment, reportedly plans to run his theory past some of his other friends, specifically Louisiana State University football coach Les Miles when the pair meet for lunch next week.

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