High School Suspends Hunky Student For Wearing Shirt

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Vol 50 Issue 20

Bag Of Flour Has Slave Auction On Front

Scientists politely remind the world that clean energy technology is ready to go whenever, a new study finds most high school graduates are woefully unprepared for high school, and a bag of flour has a slave auction on its front.

Petco To Stop Selling Dog, Cat Treats Made In China

The pet supply retail chain Petco has announced that after the deaths of 1,000 dogs were linked to consuming chicken, duck and jerky treats imported from China, it will cease selling Chinese-made pet treats in its 1,300 stores across the nation.

Levi Strauss CEO: Stop Washing Your Jeans

Speaking at a sustainability conference Tuesday, Levi Strauss CEO Chip Bergh told consumers that washing jeans is an unnecessary process that wastes water, and instead recommended placing jeans in the freezer to kill germs.
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High School Suspends Hunky Student For Wearing Shirt

MURFREESBORO, TN—Saying it was potentially disruptive to an educational environment in which all were entitled to see his rock-hard abs, administrators at Merritt High School suspended hunky senior Ryan Magnuson Wednesday for wearing a shirt. “When a teacher noticed that the shirt was obscuring the view of his shoulders, pecs, and the rest of his muscular torso, the student in question was sent to the office and ordered to remove the inappropriate garment,” said assistant principal Janet Norcross, citing the school’s zero-tolerance policy for students who’ve got the goods but refuse to flaunt them. “The student handbook makes perfectly clear what we expect of our beefcakes, and we expect them to comply.” Norcross added that Magnuson was initially given the option of turning his shirt inside out, as long as he did it nice and slow.

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