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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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High School Team Denies Winning For Dead Teammate

MONONGAHELA, FL—The Monongahela West Tarpon, a boy's prep baseball team that has surged to a two-game lead in the Frostproof conference with a remarkable seven-game winning streak since the death of second-string catcher Nathan Bannersly, denied Tuesday that their winning streak had anything do to with honoring Bannersly's memory. "Wow, I didn't even put the two together, but I guess we have been doing pretty good since that one kid's crash," pitcher Troy Metz (5-1) said of the teammate whose body was thrown from his Toyota Corolla the night of April 11, killing him instantly. "His name was Nathan, you said? Because there's this one lady who's been holding up a "NATHAN" sign at all our games lately. You know, I bet that's, like, his mom." Other Tarpon players agreed that the coincidence was, in fact, "kind of weird."

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