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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Hillary Clinton Inspires Young Girls To Form Presidential Exploratory Committees

NEW YORK—Sen. Hillary Clinton's (D–NY) preliminary announcement that she will seek the nation's highest office is having a profound effect on America's pre-teen girls, thousands of whom are forming their own exploratory committees to gauge early reaction to possible presidential bids. "I just think she's so great the way she's laying out her platform and putting out feelers," said 9-year-old Jen Villeneuve of St. Louis, who recruited former John Kerry campaign staffers to come with her to Iowa this week to discuss her energy policy with top ethanol producers. "I want to be just like her, especially in regards to her appeal to middle-class working families with pre-college children." In a related item, sales of junior-sized pantsuits and sensible shoes have doubled nationwide.

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