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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Hillary Clinton Opens Chili's Franchise Just Outside Of Washington, D.C.

HERNDON, VA—After officially ending her tenure as Secretary of State on Friday, Hillary Clinton wasted no time in moving on to the next stage of her career by opening a new Chili’s franchise location in the metro Washington area, sources reported. “I am absolutely thrilled with this exciting new opportunity to generate income and take control of my future by partnering with an established brand like Chili’s,” the former two-term senator told reporters while ushering customers through the door of her new restaurant, which she licensed from Chili’s for an initial franchise fee of $45,000. “It’s simple—they supply the space and the on-site training, you provide the opening cost, and soon enough you’ve got money rolling in. Of course, as operator of this location, my job is to stay true to Chili’s standards by providing great service, a great atmosphere, and great Tex-Mex cuisine that everyone in the Herndon community can enjoy.” While Clinton said she plans to focus on her current franchise moving forward, sources close to the former secretary say she may in fact have aspirations to become a multi-unit operator.

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