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Politics

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

How Confirmation Hearings Work

On Tuesday, Congress began holding confirmation hearings to evaluate the fitness of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees for their offices. Here is a step-by-step guide to the confirmation hearing process.

Trump Gives Intelligence Agencies Their Daily Briefing

NEW YORK—Sitting down with top officials from the CIA, FBI, and Defense Intelligence Agency in a Trump Tower conference room, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly gave U.S. intelligence agencies their daily briefing Tuesday morning.

John Kerry Throws Vine Over Pit Of Quicksand To Save Child Companion

PANGSAU, MYANMAR—Thinking quickly to thwart disaster as he ventured deep into the Myanmar rainforest to meet with State Councilor Aung San Suu Kyi, Secretary of State John Kerry threw a vine over a pit of quicksand to save the life of his 12-year-old Moroccan companion, Drumstick, sources confirmed Monday.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.
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Hillary Clinton Quietly Asks Bill If He Still Finds Her Electable

66-year-old Clinton asks her husband if he still finds her to be a desirable candidate.
66-year-old Clinton asks her husband if he still finds her to be a desirable candidate.

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Saying that the thought had been on her mind for a while and that she felt she needed to bring it out in the open, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly asked her husband Bill if he still finds her electable Tuesday evening.

According to sources, the 66-year-old stateswoman broached the subject while the two were both reading in bed, reportedly looking up from her page before revealing to her husband that she fears he no longer finds her to be a desirable candidate.

“Bill, I want you to be honest with me: Do my political prospects still look good to you?” asked Hillary, assuring her husband that she could handle his candid answer, but that she would like to know one way or the other. “When you look at me, do you still see someone who can fire up the liberal base? And don’t just say yes because you know that’s what I want to hear.”

“I just want to know if you still consider me appealing,” she continued, “particularly to blacks, Hispanics, and women between 30 and 44.”

Despite the two-term president’s assurances that her approval numbers have never looked better and that her best primary days are ahead of her, the former senator from New York admitted to worrying that her husband was growing uninterested in her candidacy, reportedly claiming that he does not seem to stump for her like he used to.

Clinton added that she did not know if the thought of seeing her platform even excites him anymore.

“I understand that I’m not the same candidate I was 13 or even five years ago—it’s natural for a political figure to change over time,” said Clinton, admitting that, as she has grown older, her positions have shifted in ways she didn’t always see coming. “But I haven’t stopped caring about my political viability. I’m still a woman with national ambitions.”

“Remember New Hampshire back in 2008?” she continued, reflecting on a period when she said her husband used to repeatedly tell her she was the Democratic favorite. “I remember the passion in your voice, and how you used to call out my name at rallies and town hall meetings—it seemed like you were always in campaign mode for me. But now I sometimes wonder if this is even the same political partnership.”

When reminded by her husband that they fundraised on two different nights last week, the former first lady reportedly responded by saying that she could tell he was “not into it” on either occasion, adding that endorsing her shouldn’t seem like it’s a chore to him.

Sources confirmed that Clinton grew increasingly agitated at her husband, telling the 42nd president of the United States that she felt as if he failed to even notice her recent efforts to seem more electable, such as picking out a new political adviser or becoming more active on social media. According to accounts, she then asked her husband directly if he could even name a single one of her talking points that truly grabbed his attention.

“When was the last time you told me I’m what this country wants—that I’m what this country needs?” she said, adding that if he truly sees her captivating independent voters he should say so because she “can’t read [his] mind.” “I just want you to make me feel like a frontrunner again.”

“Would you like me more if I were a firebrand?” she abruptly demanded to know after several moments of silence.

According to reports, Clinton then asked the former commander-in-chief if he still likes to fantasize about electing the first female president, though she allegedly cut off his response by suggesting that, at this point, he probably likes to picture Elizabeth Warren or Kirsten Gillibrand when he does.

Sources confirmed that after pausing to regain her composure, Clinton softly added that she still considers her husband electable, but claimed that it’s different for a man anyway.

After Clinton stated that the conversation was “going nowhere” and suggested that the pair just drop the subject and go to sleep, sources noted that the former president wondered aloud why his wife even reads magazines like The National Review if she knows they always make her feel this way.

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