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Hines Ward

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Hines Ward

STRENGTHS: One of the most agreeable assholes in the game; block on Keith Rivers received harsh critical reviews but grossed $12.5 million worldwide; great blocking receiver, mangling receiver; unlike some Steelers receivers, can in fact catch a cold

WEAKNESSES: Cheap shots could be a little more discreet; is not a natural-born U.S. citizen and therefore is ineligible to be elected league MVP; one of those guys who always has to touch you when he’s talking

SUPER BOWL PREPARATION: Looking at game film to determine which Packers turn their backs long enough for him to cheap-shot them

WELL-KNOWN FACT: He will definitely get his, and it ain’t gonna be pretty

PUBLIC IMAGE: Considered a role model in comparison to James Harrison

NEXT: James Harrison

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