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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Historic Senator Robert Byrd Imploded In Controlled Demolition

WASHINGTON—Thousands gathered Monday to watch the demolition of Sen. Robert C. Byrd, 91, who was torn down after nearly five decades as a prominent Beltway fixture. At 2:30 p.m., the once-modern senator was strategically detonated with explosive charges, causing him to collapse in a cascading succession that drew loud cheers from those in attendance. "Sen. Byrd has been a beloved Washington institution for as long as most people in this city can remember," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said of the longest-serving senator in U.S. history, who was marked for implosion due to his leaky, dilapidated exterior and his failure to meet congressional health and safety standards. "But alas, the time has come to make way for a new generation of leadership." Sources reported that commemorative pieces of the legislator will be available for sale in the Capitol gift shop.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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