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DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

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Historical Archives: A Salt Cake Recipe

A Salt Cake Recipe.

Commit'd to papere for the edification, and use full-ness of the wife of the Reader in his Kitchen.

Lately arrived to our Shores from FRANCE, a Recipe for SALT CAKE. Penned by renowned PARIS Confectioner and Brothel Owner MADAME BROUSSARD, it is remarked to be the sweetest Delicacy yet tasted.

The Preparation could not be simpler, as even a mere BABE of three years age could manage it, though not advisable following the Mince Pie-making Tragedy that befell the CARTER Childe from WORCESTER this April last.

Ingredients:

Two Large Buckets Sea-Brine

Four Pounds Jew's Salt

One And One Half Pounds Butter (Salted)

One Blueberry

Any lacking Ingredient May be substituted with doubled Parts Coal Cinders, excepting the Blueberry, for which Two Pinches Salt are recommended if the Fruit cannot be obtained.

Preparation:

Combine All ingredients Inside salted Hog Carcass of faire size. Allow To lie in hottest Noonday Sun until last trace of Moisture is expunged. Shape Cake with liberally salted Mason's Trowel, adding Salt as necessary.

Blindness and retching of the blackest BLOOD are oft noted upon consumption of the wond'rous Salt Cake, but will likely abate following Two and Twenty hours.

Finally, serve to a Man or MEN, with all due Deference and Respect, on a Plate or Bowl made by the Hand with the sweat of Honour and Loyalty to the Sub-servient dicta, &tc.;, of Law & Nature, and by God's Will.

Makes a fine Complement to Hardtack.

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