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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Historical Archives: Ben Franklin Inventions This Week

The Death-Kite.

The Carton Device For The Conveyance Of Eggs, To Minimize Breakage On Even The Moſt

Uneven Of Foot-Paths.

The U.S. Patent (Patented By Benjamin Franklin).

The Manual Vaginal Penetration Stick.

Power Windows.

The Inflatable Oblong Balloon, The Sort That Emits A Thunderous Clap, One Reſembling The Loud Exhale From One's Nether Regions.

Maidenhead Glue.

Math.

Being A Great And Pretentious Old Wind-Bag.

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