adBlockCheck

Historical Archives: Benedict Arnold Is A Modern Day's Anthony Babington

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Historical Archives: Benedict Arnold Is A Modern Day's Anthony Babington

RESOLV'D

By all Men Good & True, that, to his d—nable Role in seeking to ASSASSINATE our waxing Nation much in the Manner of the Out Rages attempt'd against young Queen Elizabeth;

And for conspiring with the British as if they were Mary Queen of Scots; and for shewing no more Loyalty than any Scoundrel;

That the Dishonorable BENEDICT ARNOLD is a very Modern-Day's ANTHONY BABINGTON, and his name shall be consign'd to Obscurity, and like all Anthony Babingtons, be known only to the Wind, and soil not the Lips of Men, for Ever More.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close